It's pretty amazing how life changes when you have wee ones. I remember the first few years of our marriage, the first few years we were out here, how the time went so slowly while Todd was at work, and how I struggled to find meaning in my new life, and meaningful things to do with my time.
There was a lot going on in my life just then: a new marriage, a new home half-way across the country from everything and everyone familiar, my dad's newly-diagnosed terminal illness. Still, sometimes I look back on that time and think that I, honestly, wasted it.
Now, though, every day oozes contentment. I have a job I love, that I have the amazing privilege to perform, of seeing these two little ones through each new day. We work together, we learn together, we play and read and sing and tickle and laugh. We go to the library and the art museum; in the Spring and Summer and Fall we go walking in the nature preserves nearby, in the arboretum, and up to the mailbox. We garden.
Life is so full these days, that I seem to have the opposite problem. Before Roo and Moo arrived, I seemed paralyzed by the amount of unstructured, unlimited time I had on my hands. And now I am so busy keeping house and raising my pre-schooler and toddler (all of which I love doing!) that I'm still dreaming of achieving my goals, rather than working to make them happen.
I'm sure it is going to be easier as Roo and Moo gain more and more independence from me. When they can sit next to me and draw alongside me, when I won't have to keep a sharp eye on Moo and his predilection for eating the crayons.
I've found I've loved having babies to care for. I wonder how the next stage of their childhood - and my motherhood - will turn out, as it inches closer.
It's reassuring to me that we are all learning and growing together, Roo, Moo, and I.
1 comment:
Hana, that was the most beautiful post I've read in a long, long time. Well put!
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